Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
