you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
