Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
