The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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