I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize
