ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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