guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
