i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
