Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
