Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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