I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
