Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
