you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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