sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
