Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
