I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
