I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
