She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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