I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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