Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
