how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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