Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Randomize
