Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
