It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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