No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
