What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
