I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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