I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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