Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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