Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
