That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Found your dick twin last night
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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