thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
