Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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