Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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