Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
