I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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