he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
