Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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