how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
