I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
