Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
