Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
you had me at cake vodka
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
