I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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