so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
