I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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