some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize