I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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