just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
