I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize