I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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