Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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