She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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