i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
