i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
