I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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