how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
