i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
