The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
My balls are so social today.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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