Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
