dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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