carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
