A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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